Most Common Relationship to Children in Child Custody Disputes

In the past 12 months LegalMatch.com has received tens of thousands of customers seeking child custody attorneys. I was curious how the majority of these customers were related to the children involved in these custody disputes. After looking into our database, this is what I found:

• 48% were the child’s mother 
• 44% were their father
• 5% were grandparents
• 2% listed themselves as “other”
• Less than 1% were step-parents

Not too much of a surprise there: the vast majority of these people are the child’s parents.

These statistics also closely match a Census data footnote reporting that as of 2007, more than 6% of children were living with their grandparents. Hopefully the courts hearing these child custody cases from grandparents are not unfairly giving them less benefit of the doubt due to preconceptions of what a family is “supposed” to be. The rise in “grandfamilies” and grandparents contesting child custody may be based on the modern realities of single parent households according to the Wall Street Journal.

But wait a minute… are the WSJ’s terribly lit pictures and ominous statistics supposed to indicate that grandparents raising kids is some kind of bad development? (Not necessarily; the point instead seems to be bemoaning the economic hardships facing senior parents.) I would welcome more involvement of grandparents in child rearing. Half of my family is one generation removed from a non-western social model where this kind of family was the norm. The household was mom, dad, their mom and dad, maybe even their mom and dad, and the kids.

In my view it is unfortunate that the American nuclear family is a one generation family.  Will times like this make Americans reevaluate our own social engineering? Probably not, but it can’t hurt to establish a dialogue about it. Although the nuclear family encourages mobility and individualism, (and thus buying more stuff) creating cohesive family units and support structures may be more important now than it has been in a while. I’m not peddling some cryptically hidden “family values” social agenda, but if you’re a young professional or a young newly married couple thinking of making the big move away from mom and dad, give it a second thought. Extended family networks, rather than things like day care and babysitters, could come in handy.