To Reiterate, 911 Is For Emergencies Only And Not A Singles Sex Hotline

I have to travel a lot and like most people in my situation, I often get homesick when I’m stuck in a new town with no friends or loved ones nearby.  And sometimes there are nights where phone contact can only do so much to abate my longing for home and I’ll start to feel incredibly lonely.  I just hope when that happens I’ll have enough minutes left on my cell phone to keep someone I know on the line with me through the cold empty night so that I don’t end up like this guy.

Yep, that’s right guys.  It’s a new week, which means we’re way overdue for another stupid 911 call.  Luckily, 29-year-old Joshua Basso seems more than happy to fill that void.  According to the news report, Basso called 911 and solicited a female operator for sex.

Hilarious, right?  But, like Ron Popeil would say: wait, there’s more!  Basso called not just once, twice, or thrice, but FIVE times!  And it keeps getting better.  The reason why Basso called 911 was because he ran out of minutes on his cell phone and, as everyone knows, the Federal Communications Commission requires that 911 be available on all phones regardless of whether the phone is active or has a phone plan, which meant for Basso, 911 and their sexy operators were his last venue for human interaction.  Why he didn’t just leave his house, go to a bar and try to pick up a woman there, I’ll never understand.  He doesn’t seem like he’s agoraphobic (thank you word of the day toilet paper) since he asked the operator if he could go to her house for some late-night lovin’.  Maybe he just kept getting shot down and didn’t want to go back.  As I remember, the bar scene can be a sad place if you’re not a hottie.

Taking a step back, though Basso behavior is reprehensible, one can’t help but to feel a little bad for him.  Because unlike the woman who wanted a 911 operator to send the police because Burger King wouldn’t make her order her way or the man who called because Subway didn’t put enough condiments on his sandwich or any of the other numerous stupid 911 phone calls, Basso called essentially because he was lonely.  Yes, he wanted sex, but moreover he wanted human contact.

However, it still doesn’t excuse his behavior.  It’s important to remember that abusing 911 is a crime and you can be arrested for doing it, like Basso was shortly after he placed his calls for a sex chat.  It’s also worth noting that if you call 911 from your cell phone, operators can actually triangulate your position and figure out where you are.  And I guess in Basso’s case, he probably wouldn’t care if they knew where he was since he wanted the operator to find him… (wah waaaah)

It seems like stupid 911 calls are growing in number lately.  You’d think with all the news coverage that people would stop, but they don’t.  Looking through the LegalMatch database, there appears to be no cases received on emergency services abuse.

The lack of cases on this makes sense though.  I mean, if I were being charged with making an embarrassing phone call like Basso’s and there was a tape of me doing it, I’d probably just want to make it all go away as soon as possible.  “What Mr. Prosecutor, plea bargain?  Yes, I’ll take whatever you’re willing to give me, just stop talking about it…”