Anyway… recently, I ran into an old friend, Joey, from high school and we ended up talking about his life since I last saw him.  Joey was a pretty popular kid when we were in school together.  Despite the fact that our school didn’t have very strong sports teams, Joey was a star-player on our school’s basketball team nonetheless, which is why he was also popular among a lot of the female students.  And in our senior year, Joey hooked up with Deborah, a shy, yet nice girl from our school.  Everyone thought they were the cutest couple and that they were headed to good successful places.  So when Joey told me that he was getting divorced, I was shocked.  Even more surprising was when he told me how things between he and Deborah had soured to the point where they were no longer talking and that he was locked in a bitter custody battle with her.

I was shocked, even more shocked than when I discovered the drying power of ShamWow!

Joey wanted to have primary custody of the children.  He told me how other divorced guys he knew all either lost complete custody of their children or were limited only to visitations rights.  Joey didn’t want to keep Deborah from seeing their children.  In fact, he wanted her to be a very active part in their lives.  But what he didn’t want was to become like all the other divorced dads he knew.  He didn’t want to be limited to only visiting his children because he was worried that it’d make his children distant.  He wanted to know what his options were.

Well, I didn’t know what to tell him since anyone in or heading toward a career in lawyering knows that the answer to every legal question is that “it all depends.”  Laws can be ambiguous and outcomes vary all the time and are dependent on a number of things as facts can always be distinguished to appear different from other cases tried before it.

Generally, in California and most states, courts usually award custody to the primary caregiver, meaning the person who spends the most time with the child.  Usually that translates to the person who doesn’t hold paid employment and raises the child, but when both parents work, like in Joey’s case, it comes down to fitness and a calculation of time spent with the child.

Joey isn’t alone in his predicament.  A vast majority of family law cases received by LegalMatch are about child custody battles.

The best advice I could give to my friend was to seek the counsel of a qualified family law lawyer.  Because regardless of the legal situation, case outcomes are not always predictable.

Child Custody Battles In My Own Backyard is a post from: LegalMatch Law Blog

However, this post from the Wall Street Journal Law Blog shows what can happen when the legitimate mission of state Child Protective Services agencies can become sidetracked by puritanical hysteria.

According to the post, parents took innocent pictures of their children in the bathtub. When they went to a local Wal-Mart to have the pictures printed, an employee decided that these pictures constituted child pornography, and turned them over to the police.

The parents were arrested, and their daughters were taken away from them for over a year. During that time, they were required to register as sex offenders. The couple spent $75,000 in legal fees, and the mother was suspended from her job. According to recent interviews with the parents, it took a long time before they were comfortable taking any pictures of their children again, regardless of the setting.

In the end, they were cleared of all wrongdoing, the charges were dropped, and their children were returned after a year living away from their parents.

All sane people recognize that sexual exploitation of children is one of the most evil and disgusting things that human beings are capable of. I don’t know exactly how pervasive the problem is, but one instance of it is one too many. I also don’t know what has happened to our society that people would consider innocent pictures of children, the type which the vast majority of parents take, could be construed as child pornography by any person capable of obtaining employment (even if it is a job at Wal-Mart’s photo department) as child pornography.

Furthermore, this case used up limited resources that could have been used to investigate and prosecute actual instances of child sexual abuse. An argument could be made that, because of the actions of this employee, and the decision of the police and CPS to pursue this frivolous investigation for so long, real cases of abuse went unpunished, and children suffered as a result.

According to recent LegalMatch statistics from the last 12 months, reports of child abuse continue to be common. In most of the cases, the alleged abuser was a parent or someone else who had a confidential relationship with the child, such as a teacher or coach. This demonstrates the need for a robust system that protects children from abuse, and that any frivolous allegations should be dismissed, after being sufficiently investigated, lest real cases of child abuse go unpunished.

Better Safe than Sorry? When Puritanical Hysteria Harms Children is a post from: LegalMatch Law Blog

This case raises quite a few interesting legal issues, not the least of which being whether a Florida court even has the jurisdiction to rule on the parental rights of a family in Ohio.

However, it also raises other legal and practical issues: there does not appear to be much evidence supporting this girl’s claims. On the other hand, the allegations are extremely serious. What weight should be given to such allegations? In cases such as this, should there be some sort of sliding scale that decreases the standard of proof as the severity of the harm alleged increases? This may make logical sense, but raises many practical issues, as well.

This girl is 17 years old, meaning she will be 18 in less than a year, at which point she’ll be legally able to sever any relationship she has with her parents. Whatever the merits of her allegations (again, there does not appear to be any concrete evidence supporting them at this point), it is clear that her relationship with her parents is less than perfect. Would anybody’s interests be served if she were forced to return to her family, when she could legally move out in a matter of months? Given what we currently know about the facts of this case (not much, at this point), it seems that, whatever her reasons, she will probably choose to leave her family when she is legally free to do so.

On the other hand, if her testimony lacks any credibility, and she cannot articulate any other reasons that a court should terminate her parents’ custody over her, a court might reasonably conclude that this is simply a case of teenage angst taken to extremes.

If this girl is telling the truth, the sad fact is that her story would not be a new one, though the particular facts are unique. According to LegalMatch case data, the majority of recent cases with issues of child abuse involved alleged abuse by a parent or stepparent. While we don’t know if this girl’s allegations are true, if they do turn out to be true, it wouldn’t be the first nor the last time, unfortunately.

Religion and Child Custody is a post from: LegalMatch Law Blog

This case raises quite a few interesting legal issues, not the least of which being whether a Florida court even has the jurisdiction to rule on the parental rights of a family in Ohio.

However, it also raises other legal and practical issues: there does not appear to be much evidence supporting this girl’s claims. On the other hand, the allegations are extremely serious. What weight should be given to such allegations? In cases such as this, should there be some sort of sliding scale that decreases the standard of proof as the severity of the harm alleged increases? This may make logical sense, but raises many practical issues, as well.

This girl is 17 years old, meaning she will be 18 in less than a year, at which point she’ll be legally able to sever any relationship she has with her parents. Whatever the merits of her allegations (again, there does not appear to be any concrete evidence supporting them at this point), it is clear that her relationship with her parents is less than perfect. Would anybody’s interests be served if she were forced to return to her family, when she could legally move out in a matter of months? Given what we currently know about the facts of this case (not much, at this point), it seems that, whatever her reasons, she will probably choose to leave her family when she is legally free to do so.

On the other hand, if her testimony lacks any credibility, and she cannot articulate any other reasons that a court should terminate her parents’ custody over her, a court might reasonably conclude that this is simply a case of teenage angst taken to extremes.

If this girl is telling the truth, the sad fact is that her story would not be a new one, though the particular facts are unique. According to LegalMatch case data, the majority of recent cases with issues of child abuse involved alleged abuse by a parent or stepparent. While we don’t know if this girl’s allegations are true, if they do turn out to be true, it wouldn’t be the first nor the last time, unfortunately.

Religion and Child Custody is a post from: LegalMatch Law Blog

Today, divorces are granted on request of one party with or without fault (in almost every state) or consent of the other party.  One researcher estimated that the introduction of no-fault divorce laws accelerated divorce rates upwards of 25%.

Whatever the cause, the high divorce rate in America is unlikely to lower significantly from it’s roughly 50% rate.  Divorce is everywhere.  Celebrity and reality star divorces generate a tremendous amount of publicity and often makes those individuals much more famous than when they were married!  Divorce is one subject that celebrity and non-celebrity couples have in common- they are both on the rise.

A study conducted by LegalMatch confirmed this trend as there was a large increase in the number of divorce lawyer requests as well as divorce-related questions within the past 12 months nationwide.  Thousands of inquiries pertaining to getting a divorce and the corresponding issues dwarf the marriage-related searches.

Although this trend may not be a surprise, it should nevertheless be a concern.  Perhaps the answer is in making it a little more difficult to get a marriage.  Either way, it is always a good time to be a divorce lawyer!

Modern Day Divorce is a post from: LegalMatch Law Blog

Within the past 12 months thousands of clients have come to LegalMatch with child support-related issues.  The top concern among the requests: increased payment, decreased payment, and issues relating to enforcement.  Hundreds of these requests specifically involved people unable to pay due to job loss or changes in financial circumstances.

Courts face a tough process when it comes to these child support modification hearings because, in most cases, the money (and the paying job) is no longer there.  In those instances, the judge is looking for a solution to a problem that will probably persist for a while.

The typical recourse for a non-paying parent is garnishment of wages or jail time.  The problem with these two options, especially in such an economically volatile time like this, is that the first is rarely an option and the latter will produce little if any payments and will likely further prolong the lack of payment problem.  These reductions in payments have forced many families to apply for welfare for the first time, risk eviction, and drastically change the circumstances relating to the family’s living situation.

A recent article about Going to Court for Child Support discussed the top 5 tips to help collect child support:

1.) Find out why the support is not being paid.

2.) Don’t delay the problem

3.) Mediate your child support

4.) Move quickly to get to a courtroom

5.) Get additional help

The one solution on either side of the divide is communication and cooperation with the system that is in place to benefit children.

Child Support in a Bad Economy is a post from: LegalMatch Law Blog

The results of this study are still proving true over 30 years later as the current recession in the U.S. and California specifically has seen a rise in money-related divorces, and also led to an increase in problems associated with an ancillary issue to divorce- alimony.

Popular divorce site Divorce360.com recently blogged about this very alimony trend.  Because the financial situations of many California couples seeking divorce, or already divorced, has changed so drastically in the past year, there has been a huge increase in requests for alimony modification.

We’re seeing similar trends at LegalMatch.  According to statistics compiled from all people seeking alimony legal assistance in California within the last 12 months, the overwhelming majority of inquiries involved either collection of past due alimony or termination of alimony payments.

The high level of interest in these two categories is even more interesting because they are polar opposites and come from different sides of the divorce- one being the spouse looking to alimony as income and needing all back payments, and the other being the spouse looking to alimony as a financial pitfall that he or she is trying to get out of to save needed funds.

The numbers are high and the reasons aren’t surprising.  The recession is fully reflected in all aspects of California divorce proceedings and the trend will continue as long as these tough economic times persist.

California Divorce, Recession, & Alimony is a post from: LegalMatch Law Blog

• 48% were the child’s mother 
• 44% were their father
• 5% were grandparents
• 2% listed themselves as “other”
• Less than 1% were step-parents

Not too much of a surprise there: the vast majority of these people are the child’s parents.

These statistics also closely match a Census data footnote reporting that as of 2007, more than 6% of children were living with their grandparents. Hopefully the courts hearing these child custody cases from grandparents are not unfairly giving them less benefit of the doubt due to preconceptions of what a family is “supposed” to be. The rise in “grandfamilies” and grandparents contesting child custody may be based on the modern realities of single parent households according to the Wall Street Journal.

But wait a minute… are the WSJ’s terribly lit pictures and ominous statistics supposed to indicate that grandparents raising kids is some kind of bad development? (Not necessarily; the point instead seems to be bemoaning the economic hardships facing senior parents.) I would welcome more involvement of grandparents in child rearing. Half of my family is one generation removed from a non-western social model where this kind of family was the norm. The household was mom, dad, their mom and dad, maybe even their mom and dad, and the kids.

In my view it is unfortunate that the American nuclear family is a one generation family.  Will times like this make Americans reevaluate our own social engineering? Probably not, but it can’t hurt to establish a dialogue about it. Although the nuclear family encourages mobility and individualism, (and thus buying more stuff) creating cohesive family units and support structures may be more important now than it has been in a while. I’m not peddling some cryptically hidden “family values” social agenda, but if you’re a young professional or a young newly married couple thinking of making the big move away from mom and dad, give it a second thought. Extended family networks, rather than things like day care and babysitters, could come in handy.

Most Common Relationship to Children in Child Custody Disputes is a post from: LegalMatch Law Blog

But even with increased martial frictions, how has this economic downturn actually affected marriages in the U.S.? Given all the speculation, it seemed fitting to see what the actual statistics would show.  From January 1 to March 31, LegalMatch client intake reports show a 7 percent increase in the rate of separation in 2009 over the same time period for 2008. This isn’t exactly an earth shattering jump, but still it is significant.

Of course, those facing harder economic times often reassess the value of their assets- and in a marriage that often means taking a good look at your combined finances. After all, divorce can be expensive, and separating from your spouse often means forgoing a second income. Some states even consider debt acquired during the marriage as community property, potentially meaning a spouse could be forced to pay the mortgage for a house in which they no longer reside. Spousal support and/or child support may be too much to pay for an individual should the marriage dissolve. The downside is that it may mean staying in a marriage that no longer works for many couples.

Right now it seems the majority of couples are choosing to weather the economic storm together, for better or worse. It will be interesting to see if this still holds true as the recession stretches on over the coming months.

Your Marriage: A Victim of the Economy? is a post from: LegalMatch Law Blog

Nonetheless, here at LegalMatch.com tens of thousands of people have logged on to find divorce attorneys within the past 12 months. I was curious about their demographics, and here is what the data was telling me:

• The Median Age for a person seeking a divorce in the US: 37
• Median Number of Children: 1

37 years old seems about right for a starter divorce.  Plus, the Median number of children matches US Census results; the national average for children per household in the US is 0.90.

Not much stands out here separating your average divorcé from your average U.S. citizen, which is not surprising considering almost half of all marriages end in divorce in the United States.

So now we know who is getting divorces…are they decreasing in number? Not from what I can tell.

Looking back over the 12 month period, there is no significant difference in month to month numbers, nor is there any decline in the numbers from 2008 to 2009. And again, this is tens of thousands of customers seeking divorce, not just a small sample size.

Fear not divorce attorneys! The American Divorce Industry is apparently alive and well.

So Who is Getting Divorces in the U.S.? is a post from: LegalMatch Law Blog